Hey there. Let’s have a chat. Just you and me. About something that doesn’t get talked about enough: PMDD. If you’ve found yourself on this page, maybe you’re trying to figure out why you’ve been feeling like the universe handed you the worst brain ever. Or perhaps you’re just looking for someone who’s been there. Either way, welcome.
Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is not your regular PMS. It’s PMS’s meaner, louder cousin that shows up uninvited and flips over the table of your life. This isn’t just about getting a bit teary over a sad movie. This is feeling like your body and mind are staging a coup against you every month. And for years, I didn’t even know it had a name.
PMDD, ADHD, Autism: A Triple Threat
Here’s the thing. If you’re neurodivergent, like me, with a mix of ADHD and autism, PMDD doesn’t just knock on the door. It breaks it down with a sledgehammer. ADHD already means emotions are a bit… unregulated (read: messy), and autism often cranks up sensory sensitivities to obscene levels. Throw PMDD into the mix, and suddenly, everything feels impossible.
Neurodivergent brains process hormones differently. Hormonal shifts hit us harder like the universe decided to turn our emotional rollercoaster into a full-blown theme park. For me, PMDD feels like my brain short-circuiting. Logic? Gone. Patience? Vanished. Self-esteem? A puddle on the floor.
The intrusive thoughts are next level. All insecurities come flooding to the surface, and they just won’t stop.
Living Through It
If you’re dealing with PMDD, you already know there’s no easy fix. But I’ve picked up a few things along the way that help keep me from completely losing it every month. Mostly. Maybe they’ll help you too.
- Know Your Cycle: Grab a calendar or an app and start tracking. Patterns emerge. You begin to recognise the days when PMDD is about to sucker-punch you, and that knowledge is power. For me, it’s a heads-up to prepare. Why do I feel like this? Oh, now it makes sense. It’s temporary. Stock up on snacks, carve out some alone time, and warn my loved ones that I’m about to become a human hurricane.
- Talk About It: Therapy can be life-changing. A good therapist will remind you that those spiralling thoughts aren’t the truth. They’re just PMDD-playing tricks. If therapy is out of reach, there may be free or low-cost services in your area. Talk to your GP. A friend. A family member. A stranger on the internet. Me, hi. Anything. Just get it outside of yourself. Even journaling can help untangle the mess in your head.
- Medication Can Help: Some people find SSRIs (antidepressants) incredibly helpful. Whether you take them daily or just in the luteal phase, there might be an option that works for you. Talk to a GP who actually listens. They’re out there. If SSRIs aren’t for you, there are other options, like hormonal treatments or even lifestyle adjustments.
- Small Wins Matter: I’m not here to tell you to become a yoga guru or cut out gluten (unless you want or need to). But little things, like drinking more water, moving your body when you can, and cutting back on caffeine, can take the edge off. It’s about survival, not perfection.
- Find Your People: There are PMDD support groups out there full of folks who get it. Finding someone who understands can make a world of difference.
- Advocate for Yourself: If your doctor doesn’t take you seriously, find one who will. You deserve to be heard, not dismissed. Write down your symptoms, bring research, and don’t stop until you feel supported.
Why Is PMDD Still So Unknown?
PMDD affects about 5-8% of people who menstruate, and yet most of us stumble upon it by accident. Why? Because women’s health is chronically under-researched, underfunded, and underappreciated. So many doctors dismiss it as “bad PMS,” which is frustrating at best and dangerous at worst. Good ol’ misogyny.
It doesn’t help that mental health stigma lingers, making it hard for people to talk about those darker thoughts. PMDD isn’t just a bad mood. It’s a real, serious condition that can lead to severe depression and even suicidal ideation. It certainly has for me. It’s rough. That’s why awareness matters. The more we talk about it, the more likely it is that someone else won’t have to wait years to get answers.
My PMDD Wake-Up Call
For years, I thought my meltdowns were just me being… well, difficult. Every month, like clockwork, I’d feel like I was unravelling. More so than usual, that is. Like I couldn’t go on, it wasn’t until a late-night internet rabbit hole led me to the term PMDD that I realised I wasn’t just “bad at being a person.” There was a reason for the disarray.
I’m still figuring things out. But knowing what I’m up against makes it feel less like a personal failing and more like a maze I’m learning to escape. Some days, I nail it. Other days, I eat a lot and cry at everything, but as long as I survive the day, I consider it a win. Both are valid.
You’re Not Alone in This
If you’re struggling with PMDD, please know it’s not just you. You’re not broken, and you’re definitely not alone. There are resources, communities, and people who want to help. Sometimes, just hearing, “Hey, I get it,” is enough to get through the worst of it.
PMDD is a jerk. But it doesn’t define you, and it’s not forever. You’ve survived 100% of your worst days so far. I’d call that undefeated.
Take care of yourself. Stay unruly.
