Ah, lovely. Another game trying to destroy my relationships and test the structural integrity of my keyboard.
Today, solo dev Zoroarts and publisher Assemble Entertainment dropped Paddle Paddle Paddle onto Steam.
You and a pal (or someone you no longer want as a pal) paddle a rubber boat through physics-defying platforming hellscapes, trying to reach the finish line using just one button per player. That’s it. That’s the game. That’s also your undoing. And honestly? It rules.
Watch the trailer below:
One button. Zero peace.
Paddle Paddle Paddle is all about screaming while your teammate insists they are paddling, and it’s obviously your fault. It’s like QWOP, but co-op.
The setup is dead simple:
- One colossal handcrafted level
- One button to paddle
- A whole lot of shouting
Here’s what you’re in for:
- Local & online co-op – Play with mates or strangers who will become enemies.
- Physics-based paddling – You’ll believe in chaos theory.
- Speedrun mode – For those who like pain fast.
- Merciful settings – Checkpoints and control tweaks if your soul needs it.
- Handcrafted hell – Just one enormous level, crafted to ruin you.
It’s one of the most “how is this SO HARD?” games of the year. Pure masochistic joy.
TL;DR:
- Game: Paddle Paddle Paddle
- Developer: Zoroarts (Mateo Covic)
- Publisher: Assemble Entertainment
- Out now on Steam for $4.99 USD / 4.99€
- Local & online co-op rubber boat simulator from hell
- Pre-order here
Honestly? It’s just goofy fun, but sometimes that’s all you need. Grab your most patient mate and give it a crack. Just don’t blame me when your dinghy (and friendship) capsizes.
Stay unruly.
